


Free

by Silverbrook123



Category: Homestuck, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler, Soul Eater
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Dark, Depression, Gen, Horror, Insanity, Not everyone from every fandom is present, This may give you feels, insane asylum, ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 17:01:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1135192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverbrook123/pseuds/Silverbrook123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ciel's not crazy, is he? No, he can't be...</p><p>Extremely OOC, not everyone mentioned in every fandom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Free

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is my first fic so be nice? I don't know, just enjoy! Also, I did this for a school project, so everything is just one, long post. Sorry...

Free

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or story line of Kuroshitsuji, Homestuck, or Soul Eater, but this story line belongs to me.

Chapter 1

"Ciel! Ciel, wait up!"

I turned around to the sound of my name being called by a familiar voice. It was Alois Trancy, my best friend. He was about 5' 5'' with blond hair and sky blue eyes. He was dressed in black skinny jeans with a white T-shirt. To complete the ensemble he had thrown on a black vest and had on deep purple converses. I on the other hand had gray skinny jeans and a pale salmon V-neck shirt. I had porcelain colored skin where he was a few shades darker. My blue gray hair was in striking contrast to his pale, almost white, blond. Our eyes were both blue, except for the fact that I had deep ocean blue eyes that people could easily lose themselves in. Alois was about 3 inches taller than me, for I was 5' 2".

I glanced down at my black converses before looking back up at Alois. He was half walking/half running to where I stopped on the sidewalk. I glanced down at the screen of my phone, seeing that it was 7:20am. We had about 20 minutes before we had to be in class, so I supposed we had time to talk.

"Hey Alois, what's up?" I asked.

"Nothing much, Luka was running late again so I had to help get ready for school. Sorry I didn't meet you at the corner earlier." He said with a frown.

"It's all right; when I didn't see you there I figured you were with your brother. How is Luka, by the way?"

"He's great! He got straight A's and B's last quarter and his birthday is coming up in two weeks. Also-" he continued on, waving his arms around to express how excited he was.

Alois has this bad tendency to go on and on with a single subject and not stop. Luka, his brother, happened to be one of his favorite topics of interest. He loves to brag on and on about Luka's achievements, upcoming events, and anything else he can think of. I've only met Luka a few times, and I've yet to find anything that extraordinary about him, but I guess that it's a brother's job to brag about the other. I glanced at my phone for the second time and saw that it was 7:35am.

Crap.

School starts in about 5 minutes and we were still three blocks away. Ugh! We were going to be late! Had Alois not stopped we would've been there by now! I quickly glanced around the bright, sunny street. There was a store across the street, owned by a man named Snake. Snake was a pale, skinny young man. He had silvery white hair and slanted green eyes. He owned a pet store that had mostly snakes in it. Nobody really understood his infatuation with the creatures but, then again, nobody really questioned it. Snake himself was standing outside, sweeping the front steps of his store with a small smile on his face.

"Alois! We're going to be late! Quick, let's ask Snake if he can give us a lift." Alois nods and quickly jogs across the street to the man. I follow along and stand next to him as he speaks with Snake.

"Hi Mister Snake!" says Alois.

"Alois, Ciel, what can I do for you two boys" he asked in a quiet voice, nodding to both of us.

"Well, we were wondering if you could give us a ride to school. It's three blocks away and we only have a few minutes to get there in time."

"I suppose," Snake replied, "just give a minutes." He then walked back inside the store to put away the broom and get his keys.

"See" Alois said with a smirk, "we'll be fine!"

"Whatever" I replied and ruffled his hair. He whined and attempted to fix his hair, failing miserably.

"You're so mean to me, Ciel" he whined.

"Sorry, I can't help it. You're too easy to tease."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever" he grumbled.

"Oi! Boys, let's move out! You don't want to be late, do you?" Snake yells as he walks to his car.

"Coming Mr. Snake!" I called out as I started walking to his car, with Alois at my heels. We all climb into Snake's car, him driving, myself in the passenger seat and Alois in back. Snake started the car and put it in gear so we could leave the store's parking lot. He drives down Albarn Street and heads to our school, Kuroshitsuji High. After a minute or so, we stop at an intersection. Snake looks left, then right, then left again, seeing no one, and continues on.

But then, something bad happened.

As Snake pulled into the street, another car was racing down the street, coming right at us. Alois gave off a blood curdling scream and ducked down in between the front and back seats. Snake cussed loudly and swerved the car off to the right in an attempt to make both cars drive down the same street. Unlike Snake or Alois, I didn't make a sound. I couldn't. I felt like I was suffocating, my asthma beginning to act up. I looked into the other car and I felt like my heart stopped. The people in the other car were Vincent and Rachel Phantomhive. In other words, my parents. My breath hitched as a single tear trailed down my cheek. My mother, Rachel, saw me and a look of horror and pain painted itself across her face. She screamed and my father, pulling at his arm and pointing in my direction. He looked up at me and the same expression my mother carried drifted other to him as well. As they neared, I closed my eyes, not wishing to see the collision. The last thing I heard was the squealing of tires, the gut wrenching sound of metal hitting metal, and a horrified "No" screamed by my mother before I passed out.

Chapter 2

I wake up to the smell of lemon cleaner and sterile objects. I groan and roll my head to the right, trying to rid myself of the grogginess of sleep. I close my eyes in an attempt to block out the harsh lights before opening them completely.

I was in a hospital room. My bed was pushed up into the right hand corner of the room, with a window a few feet ahead of me on the wall. A door, which most likely lead to a bathroom, was across the room from my bed. The door leading outside of my room was across the room from the window. Next to my bed was a plethora of machines and an IV bag. A few feet away was a table and chair, which was occupied by a woman in all red.

"Madame Red? Is that you?" I ask hesitantly.

The woman in question woke with a start. She looked back and forth in confusion before her eyes landed on me. Once she saw me, her features immediately softened and she slowly got up and walked to me. She knelt down next to my bed and spoke softly.

"Ciel, honey, are you all right? How do you feel?" she asked.

"Like a bus ran into me repeatedly" I reply. "Where are my mom and dad?"

Madame Red's eyes glistened with tears as she spoke in a slow, soft voice. "I'm so sorry baby. They…they're dead." She said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

I stared at her. She was joking right? There was no way that they were dead. I just saw them this morning. Dad was drinking coffee and reading the news while mom was making pancakes. No, they couldn't be dead. They couldn't!

"You're lying. They're fine aren't they? You guys are just playing a joke on me. Ha ha, very funny mom and dad, but you can come out now." I stated in a frantic voice.

My aunt shook her head, "No, honey, they're not playing a joke on you. They're gone baby, they died on impact when they crashed into Snake's car."

Died on impact? No, that couldn't have happened. They were fine. They HAD to be fine. They were just pulling some cruel joke on me. I closed my eyes and moved my hands up to cover my face. When I put my right hand to my right eye, I felt medical bandage covering it. I shook slightly and turned to my aunt.

"What is this?" I ask, pointing to my covered eye.

She sighed softly before answering. "When you crashed, glass from the windows got into your eye. The doctors believe they removed it all, but they want to keep it under supervision."

Oh, ok. I guess that was fine. But my main question was still going unanswered. "Please, Madame Red, Aunt, Where are they? I want my mom and dad."

She shuddered and cried out softly. "Honey, this isn't a joke. They're gone Ciel. They died."

It felt like my heart stopped. Was she…was she really telling me the truth? Were my parents really…dead? No, she was wrong. They were fine. THEY WERE FINE! I lash out at Madame Red when she tries to touch my slate colored hair.

"NO! Don't touch me! You're a liar! A dirty, rotten liar! They're fine, THEY'RE FINE. Go get them right now!" I start thrashing around on the bed, twisting and turning, trying to get out. I had to go find my parents, I HAD to! I wanted my mom and dad and I wanted them right now.

"Ciel, baby, please stop this. I know you don't believe me but it's true. I'm so sorry Ciel-"

Smack

I pant heavily as my aunt moves her hand up to her cheek. She stares at me with watery, round eyes, mouth hanging wide open as she comprehends what I just did.

"I'm going to find my parents." I say. I yank at the cord in my hand and rip it out. I climb off of the bed and run to the door that would lead me out of this prison. I pull it open and run down a wide, pale green hall, passing by doctors and nurses alike. Some stare at me as I run past, but most give me no mind. I could hear my aunt yelling behind me, telling people to stop me. Unfortunately, a large man stands in my path and catches me.

"Whoa there little guy, what are you doing?" he asks.

"Let me go! I have to find my parents! Let me GO!" I yell at him, punching the arm that holds my captive. He looks around for help, noticing my aunt who was walking at a brisk pace to him.

"Thank you for catching him, sir. I'm sorry for the inconvenience." Madame Red says.

"It was no trouble at all ma'am. Just keep an eye on him will you?"

"Of course" she replies and takes hold of my arm. "Come along Ciel, it's time to go back to your room."

I yank my arm back and dart away from her. "Stay away from me! You won't tell me where they are so I have to go find them myself!"

"Ciel" she says "You're causing a scene. Stop acting like a child and come with me."

"No! You stay away from me! Stay away!" I scream at her. I grab my head with my hands and slowly fall to the ground, trying to ignore the world around me. I hear someone talk to my aunt as she tries to get me to come with her. They ask her a question and she softly replies. I don't notice the tears that are falling down until they wet my hands. I hear someone sit down next to me and take my arm. I squeal and try to move away from the intruder, just to knock into someone else on my other side. I scream for help but no one comes to my aid.

"Mom! Dad! Help me, please! Anyone!" I cry out.

"Ciel, honey, you have to calm down. Please, you're going to make yourself sick." I hear my aunt say to me. I shake my head back and forth and try to move away from the people next to me. They just clamp down harder on my arms and I feel a small prick in my left arm.

After that, I don't feel anything at all.

Chapter 3

I wake up suddenly, and find myself unable to move. I cry out in horror and struggle against the restraints on my arms and legs. Someone comes over and tries to comfort me, but I'm unable to distinguish who it is while I was so stressed out. I cry out again when I feel a hand push down on my chest, forcing me to lay down. I pant heavily, trying to fight off the asthma attack I can feel coming. In an attempt to relax, I try to concentrate on the person next to me.

"Shh, Ciel, its ok honey. Everything is all right." I hear. I recognize the voice as Madame Red, and begin to fight off the restraints immediately. She pushes down on my shoulders, telling me to relax, but I can't. She won't take me to my parents! How could I trust her? Suddenly, I feel something go over my face and the whole situation begins to slow. I feel much more relaxed and wonder why I had gotten so worked up before.

"Is that better honey?" I hear my aunt ask me. I nod, or at least think I do before dozing back off again. I hear my aunt sigh as she runs her fingers through my hair. I wonder what could be troubling her so, be falling back into sleep.

When I wake up again, I notice a different person standing next to my bed. His blonde hair is untidy and he has purple rings under his eyes. The boy looked so sad, and the need to comfort his that weld up in my heart was so large that I thought I was going to stop breathing.

"Alois, are you all right? What's the matter?" I ask.

"Oh Ciel, I'm so sorry. If I hadn't stopped us and made us late none of this would've ever happened. It's my entire fault that we had to ask Snake for a ride and then we crashed into your parent's car. Oh my God, I'm so sorry about your parents. Your aunt said you were having a hard time believing what happened to them. How are you Ciel? Please tell me that you're ok."

"Alois, I'm fine. And what do you mean that you're sorry for my parents? There's nothing wrong with them, right?"

He gives me a confused look and cocks his head to one side. "Ciel" he says slowly. "You parents crashed into Snake's car, remember?"

"Well yes, of course I remember. Why else do you think I'm stuck here?" I reply.

Well, Ciel, you see, when the two cars hit your parents, uh, didn't have on their seat belts. When we crashed, they went straight through the window. They died, Ciel, I'm sorry to break it to you." He said with a frown. I frowned back, wondering why Alois would make up such a lie.

"Alois, why would you say something like that to me? My parents are fine." I say.

He stares at me before letting out a breath that I didn't know he was holding. He slowly climbed up on the bed, sitting next to me. He reaches down and covers my hand with his.

"Ciel, I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. They died Ciel, I saw it with my own eyes" he says, tears threatening to pour down his face. "I have no reason to lie to you Ciel, you are my best friend. Have I ever lied to you before?" he asks.

"No" I mumble, lacing my fingers through his. "Exactly, so why would I now?" he says, a single tear rolling down his face. It's then that I realized that my parents really were dead. And that I was all alone. I can't hold it back any longer as a panicked sob racks through my chest. Tears come pouring down my face as I cry away all the pain and suffering I've endured over the past few days. Alois sits next to me, holding my hand and whispering comforting words in my ear. But I can't hear any of them, over the blood pounding in my ears. I cry until I can't cry any longer then fall asleep under the watchful eye of my best friend.

Chapter 4

The next few days pass by in a blur. I'm visited by my friends from school, who all bring gifts and their condolences. I nod at their words and speak when they ask questions, but really, I'm just waiting for them to leave so I can call for more morphine to knock me out. My aunt came back after the day Alois told me about my parents. I apologized profusely about slapping her and she forgives me, saying that it was all right and she hardly felt a thing.

She asked me wither or not I would want to move into her house or stay at mine, and I said I'd rather move into hers. She nodded and said she'd pack things for me. I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital until a week came and past. In that time, I learned that my parents were the only people to die in the collision; I was left hospitalized, while Alois and Snake only got off with a few cuts and bruises. The police are still unclear as to why my parents were speeding down that road, but I didn't really care. All that mattered was that they were dead. I would never see my father drinking his coffee or see my mother smile at me.

Every now and then this great pain would cover itself over me. I would feel like I couldn't breathe and would call for the doctors. Those were the nights when I got the most sleep. Sleep became the only way I could escape the pain. I made the inky blackness my new found home, spending half of the day in it. There isn't a moment of the day that I could say that I'd rather be awake than asleep. On the fourth or fifth day of being in the hospital, my doctor, Dr. Raptor, mentioned that I might have depression, seeing the way that I had been acting. But the thing was, I didn't understand what he meant by acting. I didn't do anything at all.

Although I didn't understand what he meant, my aunt did. She only nodded when he said it and he said that he would find the right medication for it, without a single word to me. When I finally did get to leave the hospital, I was walking out with my many gifts, medication and an eye patch. The doctors wanted me to keep it on in case my eye got irritated after surgery. I agreed silently and tied it around the back of my head, the patch gently resting itself over my eye.

When we finally got to Madame Red's home, all I wanted to do was fall into the comforting abyss I knew as sleep. It had been a long day for me and this was way more energy spent than I had for the past few days. Unfortunately, my aunt had other plans.

"Ciel" she said once she finished parking the car. "I know this is all still so hard for you but…we need to talk about funeral arrangements for your parents."

I process her words for a moment then nod. "All right. I suppose I can do that." I say in a quiet voice.

"Ok, thank you honey." She replies.

I give her another sharp nod before slowly climbing out of the car and walking inside her house. It was a two-story house was a master and a guest bedroom and bath. When you immediately walk into the house, the living room is to your left, while the dining room and kitchen were to your right. Across the hall was a set of stairs which lead you up to where the bed and bath rooms were. I slowly trudge up the stairs and into my new room, not really paying any attention to the house around me.

When I reach my bedroom I drop anything I was holding and walk over to the bed. It's a twin with a dark blue quilt on top. I immediately recognize it as the one that my mother made me when I was younger. I bite back the tears threatening to fall and kick off my shoes, climbing into the bed. I roll onto my side, pillow tucked under my head with my arm under that, and stare at the door before sleep finally wraps itself around me.

I wake up slowly and to the smell of bacon and eggs. I climb out of my bed and look at the bedside clock, seeing that it was 9:32am. Funny, shouldn't my aunt be at work by now? Madame Red, otherwise known as Angelina Durless, was a doctor at the Red Cross Hospital. She was one of the top doctors and usually spent all day there. I walk down stairs and into the kitchen. Surprisingly enough, my red haired aunt was the one standing at the stove, cooking me breakfast.

"Good morning, aunt." I say in a monotone voice.

She turns around, obviously lost in thought and gives me a small smile. "Good morning Ciel, how are you feeling today?"

"I'm fine, I guess" I mumble. Everyday someone would ask how I was feeling. It was getting rather annoying, wither it was my aunt, my doctor, or my friends. To be honest, I never really understood how I'm to answer a question like that. In all reality, I felt empty. It was a rarity if I felt anything at all on a day to day basis. But I couldn't tell them that. If I did, they'd probably think I was crazy.

I sit down at the small table and wait as Madame Red finishes making the food. When she does, I pick up my fork and begin to eat my unexpected breakfast. Halfway through the meal, Madame Red begins to speak about the topic I've been avoiding since yesterday.

"Ciel, I think we should discuss the funeral plans for your parents." She begins.

I shrug at her words and continue to eat my breakfast, trying to keep the tremors that were racking through my body unnoticeable.

"I know this is hard for you dear, but we have to do something. It doesn't have to be a big production. Just you, me, and maybe some of your friends can go if you want." She says.

"That sounds fine, I suppose. Alois has to be there though, he's my best friend." I reply.

"Of course he can join us honey; it wouldn't be the same without him." She says.

I nod and continue eating my breakfast in silence. Once I finish, I carry my dishes to the sink and put them in then turn back around to walk out of the kitchen. I just reach the doorway when my aunt speaks up again.

"Oh and Ciel, please be prepared to go to school next week. I know you don't feel like it right now, but in a week I'm sure you'll be more than happy to go back." She says.

School? How the hell can she think about school in a time like this? My parents were DEAD. My life is in ruins. I couldn't believe that she would bring up school now. I couldn't even imagine myself there.

"I'm not going." I state.

"Yes you are Ciel, you have to go. You're a young boy and you have to go to school." She said with a sigh. Why was she so insistent? I don't have to go to school. I couldn't face all of the people there, with their false apologizes and fake sadness. I didn't want their pity; I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to stay in the dark and never leave, wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.

"I'm not going and that's final. I don't have to go anywhere that I don't want to. You can't make me go." I say, venom dripping from my words.

Madame Red slowly gets up and walks to me. It was strange; she was approaching me as though I was scared and frightened animal that she was trying to calm down. I skirted away from her and tried to dash up the stairs and into my room. Unfortunately, she figures out my plan and catches my around the waist. I thrash against her, trying to get free.

"Let me go! Let me go! Don't touch me!" I scream at her, hitting at her arms that secured me in place.

"Ciel, you're acting like a child. Stop this at once!" She yells back.

"You aren't my mother, you can't tell me what to do so LET ME GO!" I say, finally yanking out of her hold. Before she can do anything else, I quickly run up the stairs and lock myself in my room. I hear her running up the stairs after me, calling out my name, begging me to come out. I ignore her best I can and crawl into my bed, covering my entire body with the quilt. I breathe in the scent that clings to my blanket, the smell of home. I silently allow the tears to pour down my face, while listening to my aunts begging for me to let her help me.

But the thing was, I'd rather die than let myself be here.

Chapter 5

I stay locked in my room for the next two days. I don't come downstairs, don't unlock me door no matter how much my aunt pleads. I either sleep or hide in the bathroom, trying to ignore the world around me. After a while, I found a razor blade in the bathroom cabinet. I remember my friend Grell had told me about cutting once. His older brother, Will, had done it to himself during stressful times. I supposed this counted as a more stressful time and I carefully cut a line across my left wrist. The blood weld up immediately and I watched as it began to drip onto the floor. I was mesmerized by the way that that color was just floating around inside of me.

After a few minutes of just staring at my wrist, dried blood covering the cut and floor, I slowly got up and rinsed it off. I found a bandage in the medicine cabinet and used it to cover the cut. Despite what Grell said about the pain Will experienced while cutting, I had felt to pain what so ever. In fact, it felt kind of got, almost peaceful. I smiled softly at my wrist as I lay down on my bed. I began to wonder what my parents would think of all of the things I was doing. I slept almost three quarters of the day now and when I was up; I was either staring off into space or avoiding Madame Red. She would always come up in the morning and try to get me to leave my room, but with no avail. What would my parents think about my new found way of relieving the pressure, relieving the stress? Would they frown upon it or encourage it? Would they look at it as self-harm, or would they see it as a quality way of solving your problems.

I would never know these answers, as my parents were gone. And, it was my fault that they were dead. If I hadn't stopped with Alois to talk, we would've never been late. Therefore we wouldn't have had to ask Snake for a lift so we wouldn't have been in the intersection. IF I had just been in school on time that day then I would be with my parents right now, eating a normal meal with them and not crying like a baby every time I remembered that day! I panted heavily as the thoughts passed through my head at a rapid pace. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to get out. I had to go.

I quickly got up and threw on my black converses, the same black shoes from that day. I shudder at the thought and force myself to focus, not wanting to fall back into a heartbreaking phase. I shrug on a light jacket and walk to the door, sliding the lock aside and quietly exit. I glance back and forth down the hall, keeping an eye out for my aunt and slowly trudge down the stairs. I make it all the way to the front door until I'm stopped by the quiet clearing of the throat. I curse myself for ever leaving my room. I slowly turn around to face the woman that I've been trying my hardest to avoid.

"Where are you going?" she asks.

"Out." I answer, giving her the vaguest reply I can give.

She sighs and allows her features to soften. "I figured as much, but I would like to know where you are going."

"I don't know, wherever I want to I guess."

"Ciel, please, just this once, don't fight me. I just want to keep you safe."

"I know. I'll be back before midnight, I guess."

She sighs and rubs her temples softly before giving a soft "All right" in reply. She then turns away and head to the kitchen. I take that as my cue to leave and walk out of the front door. I tuck my hands inside of my jacket pockets and begin to walk down the sidewalk. I don't really think about where I'm going, just letting my mind take me where ever I want. It was a calm fall night, around 9pm, with a small breeze. I continue walking as I consider what my aunt had talked to me about, my parent's funeral.

Children aren't supposed to plan their parent's funeral, are they? Or at least, not until they're much older. When my grandmother died, my father had planned her funeral; only difference was that he was 34 and I'm barely 15. How am to do this, plan a whole funeral all by myself? I was still thinking about their funeral when I felt something wet on my forehead and hands. I looked up into the sky, and noticed the rain clouds that were tumbling in. What my luck.

Cursing loudly, I pull up my hood on my sweat shirt, tugging it over my head. I quickly duck under the nearest tree that I can find, trying to evade the fat drops of water falling from the sky. I debate wither or not to call Madame Red to come get me, when I realize where I am. Apparently, my feet decided to take me home, back to the Phantomhive household. I stare at the building I once knew as my home and slowly walk over to it, ignoring everything else around me. I walk up to the door and push it open, not caring wither or not people see me. I stand in the entry hall, chilled to the bone and soaking wet, just staring at the familiar walls and furniture.

I walk through my home, breathing in the scents of the past. My eyes begin to well up with tears when I walk through the living room and into the kitchen. I stare at the table, remembering that that's where I last talked to them, where I last saw them in a peaceful manner. I rub at my eyes, ridding myself of the tears and sorrow that had weld up. I sprint out of the kitchen and upstairs to my room. The whole theme of my room is blue, more specifically, the same blue as my eyes. The walls, comforter, and chair were all the same shade. I whimper and throw myself on my bed, breathing in the scents that I had left behind.

I don't realize I'm crying, sobbing really, until I feel the shudders rack through my body. I curl up into a ball, trying to fight off the sorrow and pain that was leaking out of my body. I felt like I was going to die, after going through so much pain. Why couldn't I? I mean, after all, nobody will really miss me. All they ever want to do is pity me, deliver their false apologizes, thinking that it would make me feel better. Well, I can tell you one thing. Pity is the worst possible thing you could give a person. Nobody wants to be pitied, it's sickening. I slowly uncurl from my ball, determined to do the right thing.

I walk to my bathroom with my head held up high, going straight to the shower where I know my razor resided. I yank back the shower curtain, and grab my life line, the only way I'll ever be able to get out of this mess. I sit down on the edge of my bathtub and peel away the bandages I had previously applied at the Madame Red's house. I push the razor deep into the skin, watching in awe as the blood immediately rose out of the cut. I quickly switched the razor to my other hand so I could cut my right wrist. After slashing it once, I decided the blood flow wasn't as heavy as I wanted so I slashed my wrist again and again and again. After the fifth or sixth slash I grow dizzy and slide down onto the floor. I drop the razor and let my eyes close as my head rolled to one side. Good bye Alois, good bye Madame Red. Hope to see you soon…

Chapter 6

It feels like a long time before I wake up again. My body hurts and my wrists were throbbing in sync with each other. I roll my head to one side and accidentally hit my head on something cold and hard. My eyes snap open and I see cars, trees, houses, and store roaring past me. I look around and see that I'm in a car, my aunts to be specific, and saw that my aunt herself was driving. She was clutching the steering wheel extremely tight and had a frown upon her face.

"Madame Red?" I ask. "Where are we going?"

She sniffs and holds her body ridged, face impassive. "Somewhere that you can get help, since I cannot do it myself."

"What? What are you talking about? I'm fine."

"No! No you're not Ciel!" She screams. "You're not fine. Locking yourself in a room for days on end is not normal. Trying to sneak out of the house with no particular location in mind is not normal! You know, when you didn't come home last night I was scared to death. I thought you ran away and decided to never come back. After thinking for a little bit, I figured out the only place that you would go. I drove as fast as I could to your house, begging to God that you would be there.

Do you know how I found you Ciel? I found you passed out on your bathroom floor, lying in a pool of blood. I thought you had…" She stops, taking in a deep breath and holds back the sobs threatening to break loose. She takes another shaky breath before continuing. "I thought you had killed yourself. I thought you hated me so much and wanted to be with your parents so bad that you thought suicide was the answer. You're lucky that I have extensive knowledge in the medical field otherwise you would be in the hospital right now." She says, finishing her rant.

"Aunt, I know what happened seems bad but I really am fine. Going back to my house just made me so emotional and-" I say before interrupted.

"Ciel! You are not fine!" she reaches over and yanks my left arm out, showing me the scars I left on myself. I pull my arm back to my chest and stare down at my lap.

"Ciel" she says calmly, "This isn't right baby. You need help, and I obviously can't give it to you. So I decided that you're going away for a while. You'll be going to the Oxford House. It's across town, near the hospital. You'll just be staying there for a few weeks while you come to terms with your parent's death."

I freeze as she continues on, telling me about the arrangements she already made and how great the Oxford House was. Everyone knew what the Oxford House was; it was an insane asylum. Its full name was the Oxford House for the Mentally Disturbed. Was my aunt really going to send me there, where all the crazy people were? I wasn't crazy, I just had a minor breakdown. I'm not crazy, I'M NOT CRAZY!

"I'm not crazy, you can't send me there." I reply in a cold voice.

"Ciel, you'll get the help you need there. I can't keep a constant eye on you to make sure something like this never happens again." She says, glancing at my wrist every once in a while.

"It's not going to happen again because it was a one-time thing!" I yell at her.

"You don't know that Ciel! For all we know, this could be a requiring thing!" She yells back at me.

We both take a minute to catch our breath, before Madame Red sighs softly. "I just want to keep you safe, Ciel. You're all I have left of your mother and I can't lose you. Please, just give it a week or so before you fight me on going here, please." She begs me. I as I sort through my thoughts about going to the House, I notice that the scenery around me fades from civilization to woods and forests.

I recognize these as Captive Forest, popularly named by the children of our town. It only goes as far as the outskirts of the hospital before wrapping itself back around to the edge of the road. The place only "captive" by it was the Oxford House. That and Freedom Lake, the only spot of true beauty in the clouds of darkness. As I continue you think about my aunt's offer, I see the overbearing building that was to be my impending doom, the Oxford House.

My anxiousness grew as we neared the feared building, a dark cloud of worry covering my soul. Madame Red slowly pulls up to the entrance and turns the car off, looking wearily at me. I nod slowly and get out of the car, closing the door behind me and wait for my aunt. She climbs out and moves to the trunk, pulling out a medium sized suitcase and hands it to me. I clasp the handle and walk into the building that would be known as my new home.

The room I walk into is spacious and only contains a few windows and chairs, and a front desk. The walls are painted a muted green and the only other person in the room is the secretary. She is small with a rounded face and shoulder length brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. A pleasant smile crosses her face once she sees us and nods us forward.

"Welcome to the Oxford House", she proclaims, "What can I do for you two today?"

"Yes, my name is Angelina Durless and I'm here to register my nephew." Madame Red replies, a worried look on her face.

"Of course Ms. Durless! My name is Paula and if you need any help with these forms, just asks me." Paula says and hands my aunt a clipboard filled with papers. Madame Red nods and walks over to one of the chairs, taking a seat and begins to work on the numerous amounts of forms that she had to fill out. I shuffle my feet awkwardly before quickly sitting down next to her. Her brow furrows slightly as she reads through the papers, not paying much attention to me. I idly run my fingers over my cuts, lost in space, trying to figure out a way so I can get out of here as fast as possible.

Well, I'll have to be on my best behavior and make it seem that I was completely fine. After all, why would they keep a completely sane person in an insane asylum? They wouldn't, for the person would have no reason to be there. Maybe I could bribe the orderlies to get me out faster. They have that kind of power, don't they? I continue on thinking about my plans of escape until I'm bumped with Madame Red's elbow, making it clear that we were moving again. I stand up and tug restlessly at my pale blue t-shirt. I walk forward, back to the desk where Paula and my aunt were discussing my living arrangements.

"So do you want him to be an in-house patient or would you like to take him home every night?" Paula asks my aunt.

"I would like him to become an in-house patient, please. My job requires me to work crazy hours so I'm unable to watch him all of the time."

"All right then! Let me just call Dr. Michaelis and see if he is available to show you two around and finalize the registration." She says as she reaches for her desk phone. I watch as she types in a memorized number and waits to be answered.

"Hello Mr. Michaelis, how are you this evening, sir?" She says. There is a pause as the recipient replies, apparently making a funny remark, due to the fact that Paula chucks quietly. "That's wonderful to hear sir. Well, the reason for my call is that we have a potential patient waiting here, hoping to be shown around. Would you like to do the honors?" She pauses again, listening for a reply. "All right sir, see you in a few." Answers Paula, placing the phone back in its holster.

"All right you two, Mr. Michaelis is on his way down to meet you. I hope you have a wonderful time on the tour and, if you are accepted, I hope that we can help you with whatever problems you are dealing with." Paula says with a bright smile before sitting back down at her desk and begins to do work on her desktop computer.

"Thank you Paula, your help is much appreciated." My aunt replies. She nudges my side, telling me to do the same. "Yeah, thanks for all your help" I mutter as I walk back over to my chair, flopping down in it. It takes about five minutes, but eventually a man decides to grace us with his presence.

He appears to be about 6' 1" with a creamy white complexion. His dark raven locks fell carelessly around his face, looking incredible soft as it did. He had on a white over coat with black slacks and dress pants on, along with black reading glasses. But, the most surprising thing about the man was his eyes. A striking crimson color that felt like it could look straight into your soul. I was a little taken back by his piercing gaze, but quickly recovered by placing an uncaring façade on my face. I smirked at me, already catching the previous emotion that I had so carelessly allowed to be shown. I scowled and glared at him before getting back up and standing stiffly next to my aunt.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Michaelis and I am the head psychologist here at the Oxford House. I understand that you would like to enroll your son here?" the older states, questioning the last statement.

"Close, I wish to enroll my nephew, Ciel Phantomhive, here. I was told that you are the person who decides wither or not her is allowed to stay?" my aunt replies.

"Yes, I would like to evaluate young Ciel here to see if the Oxford House is the right place for him." Mr. Michaelis says, looking over the clip board full of my information. His thin eyebrows rise almost to his hair line half way through his reading. He quickly glances up at me, looking me up and down with a new fascination. He nods to himself and motions for us to follow as he walks to the door on the far side of the wall, obviously going to take us on our "tour". He pulls out a key card from his coat pocket and swipes it through a device that looks like what you would swipe a credit card through to pay for something. After a moment, Mr. Michaelis turns the knob and opens the door, ushering us through. We begin walking through a white hall, no doors or windows in sight except for the single door at the end of the hall.

Once we reach the door, Dr. Michaelis has to once again swipe his card so we could get in. After we walk through the door, the area gets much more spacious and has splashes of color everywhere on the walls. It seems like someone just gave gallons of paint to some kid and told him to let loose and have fun. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, aqua, magenta, black, silver and any color in between. It was crazy and busy, something I don't think I could stand to tolerate.

"This is the main hall, where all of our other patients meet up. They can talk, play games, watch TV and all of the above." said the doctor. He leads us down another hall to what could be easily distinguished as a cafeteria. Unfortunately, it had the same obnoxious paint job as the main hall. I sneer in disgust at the awful colors and continue on with the two adults. The next hall we pass through is filled with doors. I quietly walk up to one of them, peaking into one of the rooms through the small window. What I find is horrifying.

Right away I see a young boy sitting in a twin bed covered with snow white sheets. What frightened me the most was that the boy was using his own finger nails to make a small, yet precise, cut on his right wrist. He looked up at the door and spotted me. He had black hair, square glasses, had a slightly tan complexion, and buck teeth. Overall, he looked like a major dork. Once he saw me, a creepy smile stretched across his face as he brought his wrist up to his mouth, lapping at the cut with his tongue. I gagged and screamed as the boy continued to lick and suck at his own body. I heard the sound of several feet pounding against the floor in a haste fashion to my location.

"Ciel!? What's wrong honey?" My aunt asks me as I slide down to the floor. I shakily point to the door in front of me, scared to look at it, in case the boy had somehow gotten out and was going to start his actions up again. I hear Mr. Michaelis order someone to open up the door and cower slightly at the thought of the only thing protecting me being shoved away. Against my better judgment, I hear the door slide open and a manic laughter filters out.

"John, what do you think you're doing?" asks Mr. Michaelis.

"I don't know what you're talking about Sebby, I was only saying hello to the new kid" I hear this John say in a childish manner, fake innocence dripping from every word. I shake at the sound of the sickening sweet voice and cower into my aunt's side.

"It's Dr. Michaelis, John, you know that. Know, what did you do to your wrist and why is there blood staining your lips?"

"There is? Well, I have no idea how any blood got there, and as to my wrist, I merely scraped it against the corner of my bed by accident."

"No, that's not what happened at all" I say in an angry tone. The little freak was trying to get out of something by faking and lying. "H-he cut his own wrist with his nail! Then he s-started to lick up h-is own b-blood." I say, stuttering over a few words that brought up memories of what had just happened. Shaking my head, I rid myself of the thoughts the best I can and listen to what the other two were saying.

"Is this what happened, John?" Mr. Michaelis asked.

"No, of course not! Why would I do such a thing? Lau said that I was finally doing better in my therapy, why would I want to risk any of that." The boy proclaims. He then looks at me and points, "You, what's your name?"

I swallow down the lump that had formed in my throat and spoke as clearly as I could. "C-Ciel." "Well, Ciel, don't you know that nobody likes a liar or a snitch?" Then, without any warning, John leapt out of his room and onto me, wrapping his hands around my throat. He squeezed and I coughed loudly, hearing my aunt scream and the doctor trying to get John off of me. I began to see black spots in my vision as John continued choking me, when suddenly, he was gone. I took in a long needed breathe and saw Mr. Michaelis gripping John by the neck. I sagged in relief while my aunt's hands fluttered around uselessly above my body.

"M'fine, aunt, really. Can we go home now?

"I don't know yet honey. Although something like this happened, I still think that it's best for you to stay here. From what that young boy said, he must have been getting better. Think about what would've happened if you had found him in an alley way and he decided to fight you? If that young man can get help here, than I know you can."

I stared at her shocked speechless. She was still considering leaving me here? I was just attacked by some random patient, almost died might I add, and she thinks that it's best if I stay here? These people were borderline insane, while all I did we freak out and crack under the pressure of everything that had been going on. I wasn't this bad! I didn't deserve to be locked up here!

"I can't believe you would do this to me." I hiss at her, venom dripping heavily from each word. "You would leave me here, to rot while you go off and live a life without me. Well fine! If that's what you want!" I spat at her. I quickly stand up and walk over to John and Mr. Michaelis. "Mr. Michaelis, I believe we have an interview to move along with. And John, I look forward to talking to you soon." I say, walking toward the other hall and, hopefully, to the doctor's office so we can get on with this.

I hear Mr. Michaelis talk quietly to Madame Red, walking several feet behind me. They were probably talking about me, those jerks. We continue walking for a minute or so before we come across some office looking rooms. Mr. Michaelis pushed forward and unlocked his door, ushering me inside but blocking Madame Red from entering.

"I would like to talk to young Ciel by myself for a little while, so he doesn't feel pressured to answer anything that he doesn't want to." Mr. Michaelis requests.

"Oh, of course Mr. Michaelis, I'll just wait out here." Replies my aunt, spying the chair and table in the hall.

"Alight then, see you in about 15 to 20 minutes." Says the doctor, closing the door and taking a seat behind his desk. I stand there awkwardly, wondering what to do now that we were in his office. My anger wore down during the trip over and it was replaced with worry and curiosity. He looks up, seeing my internal struggle and points to the chair across from the desk. I hesitantly slip into the chair and wait for the older male to speak.

"Well, Ciel, why don't you tell me about yourself?" He asks.

"Where do you want me to start?"

"Why don't you start from the beginning, most stories tend to start there, don't you think" he replies with a smirk.

I scowl at him, trying to ignore the blush that tainted my pale cheeks. "I was born December 14th, 1997. My mother and father were Vincent and Rachel Phantomhive. They were the best parents a son could ask for…When I turned five, I met my best friend Alois Trancy. We do everything together and stick with each other through thin and thick. He was there when…" I trail off slowly, not wishing to speak about the accident. It was still a fresh wound and I hated even thinking about it, because, if I did, the memories would haunt me for hours, or days, on end.

"Please continue, Mr. Phantomhive, you're doing fine."

"Why don't you tell me about your life instead?" I ask, trying to avoid speaking about my parents' death.

"I'm not the one who might end up being an in-house patient. Therefore, please continue."

I sigh and close my eyes, not wanting to say anything else. "I'd rather not. It brings up the memories."

Mr. Michaelis looked at me for a moment before nodding and writing something down on a slip of paper. He then stands, nodding me forward, and walks to the door. Once there, he hands me the paper and opens the door. Madame Red stands once she sees us and smiles, walking over to us.

"Ms. Durless, I would be happy to accept young Ciel to the House. We'll set up living arrangements for him later today, and he can return tomorrow afternoon. Sound all right with you?" Asks Mr. Michaelis.

"That sounds wonderful Mr. Michaelis, thank you." She replies.

"Please, call me Sebastian. And you're very welcome."

"Oh, all right, Sebastian." She says with a light blush.

Mr. Michaelis, Sebastian, turns to me then, "I'll see you tomorrow, Ciel. Be prepared to speak about everything and anything."

I nod and turn to walk away, wanting to go home as soon as possible so I could pack and sleep. Sebastian and Madame Red exchange their goodbye's as I walk away. I pull out my cell phone, surprised that it still worked after the other night, and pulled up messaging. I scroll through my contacts before settling on the one person who I know I can always talk to.

To: Alois

Hey, what's up?

After hitting send, I pocket the phone and wait by the door for Sebastian and my aunt. After a few moments they arrive, Sebastian leading the way to the door so he could unlock it. The three of us twist and turn around the hallways, finally making it to the lobby where we started. Paula was speaking with another client. We all say goodbye once again before Madame Red and I exit the building. On my way to the car, I pull out my phone after feeling in vibrate in my pocket.

From: Alois

Nothing much, just chilling with Luka. What about you? How are you feeling, you know, after they found you at your house?

Eh, I can always count on Alois so, oh so subtly, ask about my emotional state. Apparently, my aunt had called his house first before rushing to my house; he had met her over there and found me. He knew that I didn't really want to talk about it, so he would usually ask "how I was feeling" to see wither or not I was going to have another suicide attempt.

To: Alois

I'm fine. Aunt decided that I need "help" so I'll be staying at the Oxford House across town.

I set my phone down on my lap after replying and stare out the window. Despite it's name, the forest was beautiful during the day. But, if I were to walk through it at night, I would imagine that it wouldn't be as peaceful or lovely. Madame Red drives out of the parking lot silently, not wanting to cause another screaming act to engage like the earlier one. After a minute or so, Alois replies.

From: Alois

Aww, really? I'm sorry man. Is there anything I can do?

To: Alois

Nah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. Eh, maybe you could visit me while I'm in the Looney Bin.

From: Alois

Of course, dude! I wouldn't want to out on seeing a bunch of crazy people! I gotta go, I'll catch you later, bro!

I chuckle a little at his last remark before sending a goodbye message. The scenery changed back to civilization, and I almost found myself missing the wilderness. But that was beside the point. I had to prepare myself for the Oxford House for the Mentally Disturbed tomorrow.

Chapter 7

Once we arrive at Madame Red's house, I immediately run upstairs and into my room. I look around the plain guess bedroom and walk to the dress against the wall. I pull out all the clothes in there and throw it into a suitcase I found in the closet a few days ago. I dash back and forth around the room, collecting various items that I left here and there. Once I'm finished, I zip up the suitcase and toss it to the floor. 'This bed is really comfy' I think to myself after collapsing on top of it. It only takes a few minutes before I'm asleep, not necessarily worried about tomorrow.

"Ciel, wake up honey. We have to leave in half an hour to meet Mr. Michaelis."

I mutter some barely eligible words before turning over on the bed, slowly waking up. I sigh once I remember what today was and got up, grabbing some clothes out of my suitcase. I walk to the bathroom with full intent of taking a shower, not knowing when I'll be able to take my next one. I enter the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I set my clothes down on top of the toilet seat and turn the shower on.

I sigh softly and steam begins to pour out of the shower, wispy, curling tendrils searching for their next victim. I quickly strip out of my dirty clothes and climb into the shower, hissing when the hot water touches my skin. I began to relax as my body adjusted to the water and grab my shampoo. After squirting out a reasonable amount, I slowly scrubbed my hair, relieving myself of any dirt or grime. I rinse the shampoo and grab my body wash, scrubbing myself down until I turn a healthy pink, compared to my, so far, usual pale gray.

I stand around in the shower for a little longer, milking the shower of all the hot water it had, before getting out and toweling off. I quickly dress and comb out my hair before walking back to my room to double check that I had all of my things. After 10 minutes of scrambling around to make sure that everything was perfect, I end up in the car, suitcase in the backseat, driving to the Oxford House. It's only a 45 minute drive but it feels like hours until we pull into the parking lot and climb out.

"This will be good for you, Ciel. You'll get better here, I can feel it." Said Madame Red. I just nod silently before grabbing my bags and started walking to the place that would house me for God knows how long. I swallow down the worry and doubt and push open the door to the lobby. Paula is still there, sitting at her desk, typing away on her computer. Once she sees us, a huge smile pops on her face as she stands up.

"Good morning Ms. Durless, Mr. Phantomhive. How are you?" she inquires.

"We're doing fine, thank you Paula. And your self?" replies my aunt.

"I'm fantastic, Ms. Durless, thank you for asking. Now" she says, grabbing a clipboard, "it is to my understanding that young Mr. Phantomhive's room is cleaned up and ready to go. I will call in one of our orderlies to assist you in taking you there." she says, picking up her phone and dialing in a number.

"Hi, Bard. Could you please come down to the front desk and escort a patient to his room?" Paula asks, waiting for a reply. "Thank you Bard, see you in a few!" she says then hangs up. "He'll be down in a few minutes you two" she says to us. Madame Red and I resume our spot in our seats until "Bard" comes down to collect me.

"Bard" is, obviously, an American with dirty blonde hair and tan skin. He seemed to have blue-gray eyes and looked to be around 5'11". Like Sebastian, he had on white scrubs, except he had goggles hanging from his neck and a cigarette hanging from his mouth.

"C'mon kid, let's get moving." He says to me, gesturing me forward with his arm. I stand and walk over to him, hearing my aunt come up behind me.

Oh, Ms. Durless! I need to speak to you about payment plays, good therapy doesn't come cheap you know. Bard will take care of Ciel, don't you worry. I'm sure Mr. Michaelis will allow you to come visit him in a week or so." Calls Paula, ushering my aunt over to her. She stares at me for a moment before ducking down and kissing my cheek.

"Good luck baby, I'll see you soon." She whispers in my ear then walks over to Paula, bringing out her wallet. Bard puts his hand on my shoulder and gently nudges me forward to the door. I knew once I walked through that door, I wouldn't be able to get out. I'd be trapped all over again. I wouldn't be able to see anyone other than doctors or patients. There was only one sensible thing to do in my position, run.

I dropped my bag and made a quick right hand turn, hitting Bard in the jaw with a right hook. Bard cursed; bring both hands up to his jaw, trying to do something to stop the throbbing. Paula squealed and ducked behind the desk, not used to such violent activities (even though she worked in a mental institute). Madame Red frowned and calmly walked over to my shaking body. I quick dodged around her though and ran out of the building and into the woods. I ran blinded, barely dodging tress and bushes until I came across a made path. I ran down it as fast as I could, hoping that it would lead him far away from the House as possible.

Unfortunately, it didn't. It lead him to a lake surrounded by tress and the occasional bench. A small, wooden side was pounded into the ground, stating that the lake was known as Freedom Lake. As I glanced around I saw two young girls sitting on a bench, back to back, both reading a book. Both of the girls had blond hair pulled into pigtails, only difference was that once had hers straightened while the other had hers curled up and out. The girl with the straight pigtails was wearing jeans and a plain white t-shirt. The other was wearing a very obnoxious pink dress with frills and everything. The two girls almost looked like sisters, but I could guess that they were just friends. The younger looking of the two, the one with curly pigtails, spoke up quietly to the other.

"Maka, how much longer do we get to stay out here?" she asked in a high pitched voice.

"About 20 minutes Lizzie, now stop disturbing me very 5 minutes, I'm getting to the best part!" the girl known as Maka relied.

"Maka! You've read that book several times! You should know the whole thing by heart now! Why do you keep reading the same darn book over and over- Oh! Hi! Who are you?" Lizzie asked me, catching me staring. Maka looked up at Lizzie's question and gave me a questioning look.

"I'm Ciel and I need to get out of here, they're going to keep me here forever and I need to get out." I reply, shaking ever so slightly.

Maka closed and set her book down on the bench and slowly walked over to me. I flinched away from her when she stood in front on my, holding her hand out. "Hi, Ciel, would you like to come and sit with us? She asked in a calm tone. I shook my head fiercely and frowned, taking a few steps away from her. She stepped forward and dropped her arm. "Ok, then could you please tell me who you are running from so I may help you?"

"The memories, Sebastian, my aunt, everyone. They're all after me. They're trying to catch me, trying to capture me. I need to get out! Please, please help me get out" I say, falling to my knees as I beg for help. She slowly crouches in front of me and runs her fingers through my hair. I sob when she touched my, Pushing into her touch and practically climbing onto her lap. I hear feet pounding somewhere behind me but I don't really care. I just wanted to be safe, safe from the House, safe from the doctors and safe from the memories that haunted me.

Chapter 8

I wake up in a white room. It's too bright and it hurts my eyes. I try to sit up but find that I was restrained on the bed. I start to panic but then I feel a cool hand press against my forehead. I squeal in surprise before I notice that girl, Maka, sitting next to my bed with a book in her hand.

"Good morning, Ciel, how are you feeling?" She asks.

"Where am I? Please, you have to get me out. I have to go, please, I'm begging you." I say in a hurried fashion, panic seeping into my words.

"Ciel, calm down. You're at the Oxford House, in your room. You had an episode yesterday and ran into the woods when Bard tried to take you to your room. You found a patient of mine and me reading and you stopped to talk to us. After I tried to speak with you, you collapsed and fainted. Your aunt was very worried about you, you know. She had tears streaming down her face when she found us. Bard then picked you up and brought you here. We called Mr. Michaelis and he decided that it was best to use restraints so when you woke up you wouldn't try to hurt anyone." Maka said, finishing with a small sigh.

"And you are here because?" I ask in a small voice.

"I'm here because you were the only person that allowed them to touch you, aside from Bard. Mr. Michaelis decided that I would be your doctor instead of Finny or Bard. I'm sure if you'd rather be someone else you could change but…" she trailed off.

I shook my head no and tugged at the leather bindings. "Can you take these off please?" I ask in a cautious tone. She nods and stands, carefully undoing the binds. Once finished she helps me sit up and waits for me to get adjusted in my new position.

"Are you ready to go take a shower and look around?" Maka asks.

I nod and carefully stand leaning against the board for support. Maka offers her hand a I graciously take it. She leads me to the dresser on the far side of the room next to the door. She opens up one out of the three doors and pulls out a white t-shirt and white scrub pants. She hands the articles of clothes to me before grabbing two ID badges off of the top of the dresser. She swipes one of the cards in front of a key card pad and opens the door.

"You're lucky; we're pretty close to the showers and main hall." Maka exclaims, turning to the right and walking down the hall. After a minute or so of walking we cross a room that says "Showers" on it.

"Ok, I think you can handle this on your own. I'll be right out here so don't do anything stupid, alright?" Maka asks. "Also, your card can open the bathroom, shower, and main hall doors from 8:00am to 8:00pm. After 8:00pm, you'll have to be escorted back to your room by either myself or another orderly." She says.

I nod and hold up the card, which was deemed to be mine, to the scanner. After a second or so, the door unlocks and I'm allowed in. "See you in a little bit" I mutter and walk into the shower room. There are a few small rooms that had some locks on it, obviously where the showers were kept. I walk to the first unlocked one I see and walk in. It has a small storage unit a few feet away from the shower head, obviously where your clean clothes went. I put my clean clothes on one side and stripped out of my dirty clothes and put it on the other. I walk to the shower head and turn on as much hot water as I can get. I see pumps on the wall labeled "Shampoo", "conditioner", and "body wash". I squish out some shampoo and scrub it into my hair, relishing in the piping hot water. I turn and rinse it out, closing my eyes while my muscles relax.

I bypass the conditioner, not needing it, and getting some of the body wash, scrubbing as hand as I can on my body. After I rinse off, I stand in the shower's spray and will all the pain and stress I was experiencing to go away. After a few minutes I sigh and turn off the shower, stepping away and over to my clothes. I notice a towel on top of the shelves and unfold it, using it to dry off. I quickly pull on my clothes after drying off and run my fingers through my hair in an attempt to straighten it. I also notice white nurse shoes in the cubby, making me realize that Maka must have grabbed them while I wasn't paying attention. I shove my feet into the shoe, grab my dirty clothes and walk out of the showering area. On my way out, I notice a small basket labeled "dirty clothes" so I toss the rest of my things in there, minus the key card. I push the door open and find that Maka had stayed where I had last seen her.

"Fell better?" she asks.

I nod and shuffle my feet, ready to get going. She smiles and stands, taking me gently by the arm and leading us back the way we came.

"The main hall is in the other direction, as you can tell, and is where all the other patients meet up. I know almost every patient, wither they're mine or not, and who they hang out with so I can introduce you." Maka says, walking up to the door labeled "Main Hall". She pulls out her card and swipes it, then opens the door. I'm bombarded by the terrible paint job, once again, and stare at all the patients.

"Ok" Maka starts, "The one over there with the white hair is Soul. He is one of my patients and usually hangs around Black Star, the kid with blue hair. Their friend, Tsbauki comes in every Monday to visit with them. They usually stick to themselves." Maka says. I nod and wait for her to continue. "The young girl over there in the blue dress is Lizzie, you saw her the other day, another one of my patients. She usually hangs around myself or is by herself. Don't let anyone know that I told you, but she has social problems. The three over there, John, Dave and Rose are always together. Dave is one of my patients but Rose and John are two of Bard's. Black Star belongs to Finny, as well as Crona, the young boy over there with the purplish hair. Finally, there's Sollux, Karkat, Gamzee, Tavros, and Eridan. They sometimes interact with the other patients but usually don't. They were all registered together by an orphanage a few counties away. So, you can mingle or stay to yourself, either way it doesn't matter. We have a small library over there so if you want to read you can. Good luck Ciel." Maka finishes, resting her hand on my shoulder for a moment before walking over to Lizzie.

I shuffle my feet awkwardly for a few moments before I get the strange feeling that I was being watched. I look to my right and see that John was staring at me with a cruel and evil smile on his face. He says something to young blonde boy next to him in sunglasses and gestures to me. The other boy looks up and nods me forward. I gulp and slowly, unsurely, walk over to the trio. John continued to look at me the way he was earlier, causing me to become unnerved. Then, the young man with the Aviators spoke up.

"Sup? I'm Dave, that pretty little thing over there is my sister, but not really, Rose and this is John, the king of the dorks." He says with a slight Texan accent. I can already tell that I won't like this guy.

"Nothing, my name is Ciel and I'm new here. How are you?" I reply wearily.

"I'm chill man, just chill." He replies, leaning heavily on John who rolls his eyes and laughs.

"Please forgive him, Ciel. He had quite an episode this morning so the doctors gave him something to calm his nerves. My name is Rose, the only sensible one in this small group." Said the young girl across from the other two. She had platinum blonde hair with a purple headband going through it. She had on a purple t-shirt with black skinny jeans and white nurse shoes similar to my own.

"Uh, alright, if you say so" I say, slowly backing away from the small group. I notice that John still hadn't averted his gaze from me so I quickly walked away…and right into someone else.

"Watch where you're going *censored*! God! No one here is capable of doing anything!" yells a short male, barely reaching my nose. He had short, choppy black hair and tan skin. His eyes, an orangish red, were ablaze with fiery as he pushed past me and sat down next to John. He was followed by another male, this time surpassing my height to an almost embarrassing level.

"C'mon, palebro. Be nice to the new kid. He seems like a kind little *censored*." Said the tall male. To be honest, he looked quite frightening. He had messy black hair curling down his face and tree scars across his face. I quick side stepped to allow him to pass trying my hardest to get out of here as fast as I could.

"Oh shut the *censored* up Gamzee. I don't give a flying *censored* if he's kind or not."

I raised and eyebrow at his language and continued walking…until an arm reached out and pulled me back in.

"Where do you think you're going, new kid? C'mon, introduthe yourthelf to the retht of uth." I hear my captor say to me. His lisp made me wince but I slowly looked around at the group of people I was surrounded by. It turned out to be everyone.

"Ok, um, my name is Ciel. And your guys'?" I ask, wishing to be left alone. Starting with my right, they all introduce themselves to me.

"Well, I'll start you off. My name's Gamzee Makara." Says the boy with the scars.

"I'm Tholluth Captor" says the boy who pulled me back in before.

"Karkat Vantas yells the boy who was currently seated on John.

"Um, T-Tavros Nitram" mumbles a boy with a Mohawk and who was in a wheelchair.

"Eridan Ampora, pleased to make your acquaintance." Says a boy with dark hair and a purple stripe running through it.

"Soul Eater Evans." Said the white haired boy.

"Black Star, otherwise known as your GOD!" yelled the boy with the turquoise colored hair.

"You already met me, but Elizabeth Midford, but everyone calls my Lizzie." Says the girl I met yesterday.

"My name is Crona but I don't know if I can deal with another patient being here" said the young boy with the light purple hair. I was biting his lower lip with worry before he scampered off and curled up in a corner.

"And you already know the three of us, so yeah. I guess you can go now, your interrogation is over." Said Dave with half lidded eyes. He looked like he was a bout to pass out at any second. I nodded slowly and began to back way as everyone else dispersed. I quickly found my way over to the small library Maka showed me earlier. It was, indeed small but that didn't matter. I picked up the nearest book I could find and tried to lose myself in the words.

Chapter 9

After a week, I had a set schedule for living in the Oxford House.

Every morning I would wake up around 8:15-ish and go to the showers. I tried to get there as earliest as possible so I could get a good amount of hot water.

After a shower I went to the cafeteria and ate breakfast. By myself. Lizzie and Maka invited me to join them but I declined. Everyone just seemed to have their own cliques and I didn't want to upset the balance.

After breakfast I had therapy with Sebastian. He said we could call him by his first name if we wanted so I did just that. For the first few days of therapy, we just exchanged pleasantries and talked about how our days were going. Until today.

"Ciel, I would like to talk to you about your parent's death." Sebastian stated. Not asked, stated.

"I'd rather not." I replied.

"I didn't ask if you wanted to. The reason I decided to have you as a patient wasn't so we could talk about the same things over and over again. From what your aunt told me, she believes that you have severe depression and are experiencing suicidal thoughts. Therefore, I would like for you to talk about your parent's death because, I believe, is where the roots of your problems are."

I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding and shook my head. "How about this," Sebastian stated," we can continue your therapy session after dinner. That way you can think about the accident and won't clam up when I ask about it tonight?"

I nod and get up, rushing to the door as fast as I could. It was only 10:30am; I usually didn't get out until 11:30, so I didn't really know what to do. So I did the only thing I knew what to do. I went to the main hall, sat in the chair near the library and read.

I stopped reading around noon, otherwise known as lunch, and walked back to the cafeteria to eat my lunch in solitude. It hurt a little when no one asked me to join them, even though I would've declined the offer. I eat my lunch quickly and return to my previous position in my chair. Just as I'm getting to the best part of the story, a shadow appears in front of me and I look up. It's John.

"Hey, Ciel~ How are you?" he asks in an unnerving tone of voice. I quickly glance around and see that Rose and Dave are no where to be found. Where could hey be? Those three were inseparable.

"H-hey John. Where are Rose and Dave?" I ask cautiously, setting my book down.

"Want to know a secret, Ciel? I'll tell you if you ask." He says, avoiding my question.

"O-ok, what's your secret?" I ask, hating my newfound stutter.

John leans in close and puts his lips next to my ear. I feel his wispy black hair brush against my cheek and I shiver. "Dave and Rose won't be joining us anymore." He whispers.

"Why not?" I ask.

"Because," he chuckles, "I killed them."

I curse and yell, scooting my chair back, trying to get away from him. I take a closer look at John and see that he's covered in blood, the crimson in sharp contrast to his white scrubs. Suddenly, I hear an alarm sound and the rushing of foot steps. I turn and see Maka, Sebastian, and Bard rushing into the room, wide eyed and searching. Once Maka spots the two of us, she cries out for John to stop and rushes forward, grabbing my arm and pushing me behind her.

Sebastian walked up to John, hands out, as if he was trying to corner a frightened animal. "John, tell us where Dave and Rose are and everything e=will be all right." He says in a calm voice. John just stands there, the same nerve racking smile on his face.

"I told you," he said, "I killed them. They were going to leave me here ALL ALONE. They had to stay otherwise I'D LOSE IT!" he finished, screaming at certain parts. Unknowing to John, Bard had slowly edged away from our small group and behind John. With a quick nod from Sebastian, he rushed forward and grabbed john around the waist, locking him in a bear hug. John screeched at the sudden contact and began thrashing around, trying to get free.

"I'm going to ask one more time, John. Where are Rose and Dave?" Sebastian asked, walking up to the blood colored man. The boy laughed manically, not providing any answers to the older name. Sebastian growled and turned to Maka and me, "Go check his room. If he actually killed them then I need to call the police.

Maka nodded and tugged on my hand, leading my down the corridors that housed to patient's rooms. We stopped at the one I recognized as John's and pushed the ajar door open. Maka let out a horrific scream as she viewed the mess inside. The walls were drenched with blood, from the ceiling to the floor. Rose and Dave was thrown carelessly on the floor, throats slit, practically swimming in the puddle of blood below them. I slowly backed up, begging this to not be real. Suddenly, John, Bard, and Sebastian came around the corner, John still in Bard's grasp.

"Jesus Christ, Sheppard of Judah." Exclaimed Bard, his eyes as wide as saucers. Sebastian just stared at the mess while John squirmed in Bard's grasp.

"Dave! Rose! How nice of you to join us! Please tell them that you're fine and to let me go" said John. The corpses just lay their, not saying a thing. John's eyes began to well after a few minutes and he sobbed out. "YOU LEFT ME! HOW COULD YOU! YOU SAID THAT YOU WOULD NEVER LEAVE AND YOU LEFT! I HATE YOU, BOTH OF YOU, DAMN YOU TO HELL!" John screamed, causing me to cover my ears with my hands.

Sebastian finally took notice of my presence and looked at Maka with sorrow stricken eyes. "Maka, take Ciel back to his room and to the showers. We still have therapy tonight." He said, practically in a whisper. She nodded and slowly took my arm, leading me away from the horrific scene. I wasn't paying any attention as she walked me to my room. She had me stand outside my door as she ran in to get me new, fresh clothes. We then walked down the hall to the showers. She handed me the clothes and asked if I was ok to do this, to which I nodded. She said all right and took a seat outside of the door. I entered the shower room and walked to the usual one I went to. I turned on the hot water as high as it could go and stepped in. The hot water didn't affect me at all. I washed my hair and body out of memory and dressed. After dropping off my dirty clothes I walked outside and started down the hall.

Maka caught up to me after a moment and helped me back to my room. I climbed on top of my bed and curled up into a ball. Maka sat next to me and ran her fingers through my hair in a comforting fashion. I shivered and shook as the memories finally came crashing down on me. Blood was everywhere in that room. How could someone just kill all of their friends like that? I didn't understand, but I didn't care to understand either. I drifted off to sleep as Maka continued to comfort me, begging the memories to go away.

"Ciel, it's time to wake up," a feminine voice said," you have therapy with Mr. Michaelis in 10 minutes. Let's go." I open my eyes and see Maka standing next to me, gently rubbing my shoulder. I nodded and stood, ready to go. Maka handed me a comb and I ran it through my hair. After that, we exited my room and headed to Sebastian's office.

"Enter," a strained voice said after I knocked on the door. I pushed it open and walked inside, closing the door securely behind me. Sebastian looked up to see who I was and nodded. "Welcome, Ciel. Have you put any thought into what I said earlier?" he asked.

"Yes," I answer, "I realized I'm the one who killed them." I state. Sebastian looked at me with skeptical eyes. "Please elaborate." He says and gestures to the chair. I take a seat and take a deep breath, ready for the memories to consume me.

"The day started out like any other. I woke up, took a shower and went downstairs to greet my parents. Dad was reading the new, coffee cup in his hand, while mom made pancakes. She served me some and they seemed like the best thing in the world. But then…I said something I shouldn't have. My father was talking about how I spend too much time with Alois and threatened to take him away from me. Being a teenager, I fought him on the topic and it resulted in me telling them that I wished they were dead."

I took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't know why they were on their way back home in such a hurry but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that because I was running late, I asked Snake for a lift. Because I asked Snake for a lift, we were at that inter section. So it's my entire fault that they're dead. IT'S MY ENTIRE FAULT! And I can't take it anymore. I can't live with the memories that haunt me. You know, every time I close my eyes I see their faces." I say, my words getting faster, panic and hysteria dripping into them. "Every time I hear something load I think of my mother's scream. It's my entire fault that I'm plagued with this…" I trail off, looking down at the floor. Sebastian slowly gets up and walks to me, kneeling down in front of my huddled figure.

"Ciel, it's not your fault that your parents died. You couldn't control what happened-"

"NO! I WISHED for them to die. I HOPED for them to perish. They were going to take away my only friend and I couldn't have that. But it doesn't matter now, does it? They're dead, and I'm nothing but an empty shell." Sebastian sighs and rests his palm on my shoulder. I flinch at the contact but stay where I am.

"Ciel, I know it's hard for you to understand but your parents died because of a freak accident. I know that you're under a lot of stress and trauma but you need to-"

"Stress and trauma?" I ask, "No, stress and trauma are nothing. I surpassed that a long time ago. I'm inhuman. I'm nothing, just the monster that killed his parents. And you know what else?" I ask.

"What else is there, Ciel?" questions Sebastian.

"Monsters deserve to die." I whisper before reeling back and punch Sebastian in the jaw. He falls flat on his back, knocked out cold. I reach into his front pocket and grab his ID card, otherwise known as the mater key. I dash to the door and swipe the card, unlocking the door. I run down the halls, swiping the card when necessary. Finally, I make it to the familiar hallway that lead out to the lobby. I swipe the card one last time and run out. Paula screeches when she sees me, surprised at my sudden appearance.

"C-Ciel? What on Earth are you doing out here? Where are your escorts?" She asks in a hurried tone, unnerved by my presence.

"Tell my aunt that I love her" I whisper before running to the door and outside. Over the past week, snowfall had decided to grace us with its presence and dusted the forest. It was eerie, running in the forest at night and when they were covered with snow and ice. They looked like arms, reaching out to grab me.

I continue running all the way until I reach the lake. It too had experienced winter's cold embrace as it was frozen over. I knew from memory that if I crossed the river, I would be near the highway interstate. I would be home free. I ignore the part of my head telling me that this was a bad idea and stepped onto the ice. It crackles under my feet but holds so I figure that it was safe enough. I make it a few feet, almost half way, when I hear someone calling out for me.

"Ciel, Ciel baby please come back. We miss you honey and we don't want you to get hurt. Please come back."

My heart stops. I know that voice and would recognize it anywhere. That was the voice of my mother. I turn around, whipping my head back and forth, trying to locate where she was. My eyes finally land upon her and my father, both a ghostly white, hidden behind a tree.

"Ciel, honey, it's time to come home." My mother says softly.

I take a step forward, wishing that it was really her. I take another step before a new sound fills my ears. The sound of cracking ice. I look down, panicked, and see that the ice I was standing on was cracking and water was sweeping up and onto the other ice. I look back up at my mother to find that she has her famous 5-start smile on.

"Its ok baby, let go. Daddy will come get you." She says.

I nod and stand still, my feet going numb from the ice cold water. I take a few shallow breathes before jumping up and crashing back down, through the ice. Freezing cold water envelopes me, but it doesn't really hurt. In fact, it almost feels refreshing. I hear a horrific scream but pay no mind to it as black dots drift into my vision. I smile, knowing that I was going to drown. But I was ok with that. I'd be back with my family and I wouldn't be the monster I was. I was

Finally

Going

To

Be

Free.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are appreciated, but not necessary. I hope you enjoed my story!


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